


Walls always crumble

by WildWesties



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games), Red Dead Redemption 2
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, injured, scared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildWesties/pseuds/WildWesties
Summary: During a Storm Dutch finds out Arthur has a phobia and panic ensues





	1. Something’s Brewing

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, Grammer bad I know but who cares lol just imagine and enjoy

A mid July, Stuffy day, and boy was it hot Arthur and Dutch were on there way back from a pretty easy job, the takings had been decent and that left them both in high spirits. 

“ you ok Son”, Dutch asked glancing behind him as he rode the track towards camp.

“ m’ fine”. Arthur muttered back. Something seemed off and Dutch just couldn’t put his finger on it. Apart from the ever thickening clouds and the odd rumble of thunder everything seemed ok, No one had gotten injured and the takings would see them through the next month or so, but something didn’t seem right and Dutch was growing concerned.

Arthur had been quiet for the last hour or so and if Dutch didn’t know any better he would think he was frightened of something determined to find out what was wrong he slowed the count so that he could slot alongside the younger. Looking at Arthur more closely he can see sweat beading on his forehead, well considered how muggy it was that wasn’t the most unusual, what was however was the way Arthur was shaking, his hands trembled as he gripped his reins impossibly tight.

“.....Arthur, are u .. “ but before Dutch could finish a loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning illuminated the sky. Arthur winced and his breathing hitched. He wasn’t going to loose control he wasn’t, not in front of Dutch, he couldn’t find out the he was scared of a thunderstorm, he was supposed to be tough and well used to loud noises being trained to fire guns, but here he was on the verge of a panic attack because of a storm.

Seeing but not quite believing it Dutch made the decision to set up camp and ride out the storm.

“Ok Arthur, Ok, come on let’s get you off your horse before you fall off.”

Not trusting his own words Arthur gripped Dutch’s shirt as the world began to spin, breathing way to fast he slumped against Dutch’s side. “Shush son, it’s ok, I got you, let me get the tent set up and the horses hitched. Will you be ok for a few minutes.”

Arthur nodded, he hasn’t had a panic attack this bad since he was a boy and his father threw him out in a storm just like this one. Dutch sat him down against a rock and went to set up.

Another clap of thunder and Arthur’s breathing hitched again, where was Dutch, had he left him here alone, abandoned him just like his father did.  
Arthur called out weakly, tears beginning to fall 

“Du...tch, please, Dutch don’t leave me, please”. Arthur gasped in between sobs.

Suddenly he felt hands on his face, instinctively he flinched not registering who it was, until the tell tale trademarks of rings cooled his burning skin.

“ Dutch.. that you” Arthur sobbed, and it broke Dutch’s heart seeing his son like this over a natural weather occurrence.

“ I’m here Arthur, your ok, I promise. Take a deep breath for me”.

Arthur’s feeble attempt at breathing made Dutch’s concerns grow more as Arthur squeezed his eyes shut and cried. 

“Shit, Arthur.. Arthur look at me, come on son, for me, I’m going to get you into the tent ok. Can you stand.”

Nodding Arthur gripped onto Dutch like he was his one and only lifeline, the world spun and as if on queue another flash of lighting and quickly followed by a loud clap. Arthur’s breathing hitched again and he buried his face in Dutch’s neck, instinctively Dutch cradled him making hushing noises in his ear and reassurances that everything was going to be ok.

They stumbled across the grass to the tent and Dutch lowered Arthur down, moving behind him, Dutch used himself as a support for Arthur to lean into. Breaths coming in short quick huffs, Dutch carefully wrapped his arm around his abdomen to anchor him in place. 

“ Ok Arthur I need you to copy my breathing,  
Ok?.”

“ urts Dutch.... I cant. I can’t do it “ Arthur gasped and cried into Dutch’s shoulder.

With his free arm Dutch moved some stray hair off Arthur’s sweat covered face and ran thumb over his cheeks to remove some tears. 

“oh my boy, why didn’t you tell me you was afraid of thunderstorms, hmmm?.”

Arthur just cried with each passing rumble and flash of lightning Dutch knew it was going to be a long night.


	2. The Night Is Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While riding out the storm a panicking Arthur struggles to breath and Dutch try’s to understand his fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter   
> Yes Grammer may not b the Best Buy hey ho, enjoy

The storm wasn’t letting up, and now the rain has begun to hammer down, they had been long overdue a good downpour. Dutch was letting his mind wonder while cradling a panic stricken Arthur, keeping his own breathing slow and giving Arthur whispers of encouragement to slow his breathing and sync it with his own, and for a time it seemed to work, Dutch glanced down to find Arthur has fallen into a somewhat peaceful sleep, smiling he began to think about how he’d managed to hide this from him for all these years.

As Dutch began to ponder he was suddenly feeling very guilty as he remembered all the times Arthur didn’t want to ride out on a job during the summer months if it was raining or looked like rain could be a possibility, at the time he and Hosea just thought Arthur was being a lazy stroppy teenager that wanted to do nothing when it was hot. Dutch had kicked him up the arse and told him he had better earn his keep if he wanted to stay with them. Reluctantly Arthur would trudge out and return seemly exhausted and often shaky when Dutch asked him what was wrong he would wave him off and said he was just tired, and Dutch thought nothing more of it. Realisation struck him had Arthur had these attacks every time he went out in the storms, on his own, thinking he was going to get kicked out if he didn’t go. Dutch snapped out of his thoughts to the sound of another clap of thunder and Arhur shot upright to the sound.

“ hey, hey , Arthur your ok, calm down, your safe” Dutch wrapped his arms around Arthur’s chest and placed his head in his shoulder.

Arthur started sobbing again breaths coming in short painful gasps.

“ I ... c...an’t breath, Dutch it urts,” Sucking in painful breaths Arthur struggled to make sense of his surroundings, shaking and breathing faster and faster the world once again began to spin.  
then through the haze and pain he heard a soothing voice, Dutch it was Dutch he hadn’t left him he was there holding him unlike his father who just threw him out for not being good enough.

“Relax son, breath with me, I’ve got you ok, i know it hurts but your going to hyperventilate if you don’t slow down,” 

Dutch kept this mantra up over and over until it began to sink in and Arthur’s breathing gradually began to slow to a more safer level.

The rain was still torrential, but least the rumbles had settled somewhat, Dutch took this opportunity to try and understand just why his somewhat fearless boy was so frightened of storms.

“Arthur, can you tell me why your so petrified of storms, I’m here for you but I need to know to understand and help you” 

The only answer he got was Arthur whimpering. 

Dutch sighed and instead of pushing him more he settled on getting him comfy and hopefully get him back to sleep again. Shaking Arthur slightly to shift him further down so he was in more reclined position to sleep comfortably. 

“ Anks Dutch, don’t go away, ever”, Arthur muttered into Dutch’s chest embarrassed of how young he sounded and felt, he was exhausted beyond belief, overtaken by weakness and a sudden urge to be as close to Dutch as he could possibly get he nuzzled Dutch’s arm to hopefully get him to left it so he could be held in a way he could feel safe and loved. 

Dutch feeling the nudges, looked down to find Arthur nuzzling the underside of his arm, letting out a chuckle and a warm smile, understanding exactly what he was trying to accomplish Dutch obliged and lifted his arm.

“ Oh Arthur, you’ve always been special haven’t you, come ere, “ 

As Arthur shuffled to get comfy breathing now calm it’s the first storm since he was a kid that he had managed to feel happy and safe Dutch pressed a loving kiss to the top of his head. 

“Get some sleep, I’ll be here when you wake , I promise.” 

Arthur’s only reply was a mumble and a nuzzle into his side, he was safe, but he needed to get the story off his chest, he’d been bottling up this for so long, A small hiccup escaped him. 

“Hey, shuuuuush come on, take it easy, we will talk in the morning if you want, if you don’t I won’t push you.” Dutch just smiled and rubbed his sons shoulder, he could feel Arthur relaxing and being enticed into sleep once more, one last glance and Dutch closed his eyes.


	3. Storm Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a bad night, with Dutch holding onto Arthur all night while the younger tried to sleep brought morning and a story Dutch will never forget in a hurry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support on my first ever fanfic and for that I reward you with another chapter

The first thing Arthur registered was the blinding sun creeping in through the tent opening, gathering himself, taking a minute to think through what happened he noticed his bed was moving behind him, craning his neck and glancing he saw Dutch with his head down snoring softly. Arthur couldn’t help but smile, here was his hard ass leader and mentor being a big softy. 

A rare sight to see, Dutch wouldn’t be this soft in front of everyone back at camp, then just as he was about the snuggle back down to grab another few hour it hit him, 

“ you goddamn fool Morgan,” he muttered to himself low enough so not to wake Dutch, he had lost control of the situation and ultimately cried his damn heart out and let the wall crumble, now Dutch would think he’s useless and can’t handle a scary situation, he was going to get thrown out like his father did. Thinking about what would happen when Dutch woke tears began to pool in his eyes. Getting angry at himself he furiously wiped them away and in a blind panic, scrambling out of Dutch’s grip startling the elder who woke up blinking furiously as the sun hit his eyes. 

“Arthur... what’s wrong”. Voice still groggy from sleep Dutch’s heart softened when he saw the boy with red puffy eyes. Brows furrowing Dutch went to reach out to pull him into a hug but Arthur froze and then he did something Dutch was not expecting he bolted from the tent. 

“ fuck, Arthur wait,” Dutch scrambled to follow him by the time Dutch has adjusted to the sunlight Arthur has rode away.

“Goddamn it, boys going to get himself killed, ARTHUR!.” In a frantic rush he packed away and mounted his albino stallion. He rode away across the heartlands in the direction Arthur had gone. 

Tears streaming down his face, Arthur had lost his family for the second time, he had fucked up again his father always said he was useless. He just wanted to die no point going on, Dutch wouldn’t trust him out on jobs anymore fearing he would loose control and Hosea would’t leave him be fearing he would do something stupid and probably agree to cutting him loose.

Eventually he slowed his golden mare to a walk and headed down to the Overflow, he could hide here for a while he was exhausted from last nights episode.

“I could just kill myself here and no one would care,” looking down into the waters he was suddenly looking a boys face not his own the boy of 10 that was suddenly turfed onto the streets. In anger he kicked his foot through the water making it ripple. sighing he walked through the shallow water to a overhang overlooking the over flow a leaned up against a tree.

Dutch was frantic almost in a panic state himself. He loved this kid like he was his very own son, and looking at the ominous clouds that were threatening to give. Spurring his horse towards Emerald ranch he decided to ask the locals if they had seen a golden mare with white man and tail, luckily Arthur had found a rare colour shouldn’t be that hard to spot. 

“Excuse me sir, have you seen a young man pass through riding a Turkoman, golden, white mane and tail”.

“ hey I know you, your than Van Der Linde character, wanted for robbing Blackwater bank”. The rancher beckoning his friends over.

Putting his hands up, Dutch wasn’t in the mood to start a fight and didn’t want to end up in a shootout either, he had to find Arthur and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“ gentlemen I assure you I’m not lookin for trouble I just want an answer did you see him, and I’ll be on my way.”

The ranchers grabbed there guns and aimed it Dutch who weighed up the odds on firing first, being a gunslinger he knew he stood a chance of taking them out first. His free hand twitching against his side and preparation to fire, he was about to get ready to draw and fire when a young lady came running from the stables.

“ Clive, wha are you doin, we aren’t goin to start a fight ere, now you help this man find his friend or so help me I’ll shoot you myself.” 

“ thanks miss, I’m not here to cause trouble I can assure you I just want to find my boy, he’s had a bad time of things and he’s took off I need to find him before this weather changes”. 

The young woman elbowed Clive in the ribs before saying.  
“ well you goin to elp him or not,” 

“ but Ange he’s a wanted criminal, he’s robbed a bank and killed people” 

“ I don’t care if he’s robbed a bloody beer from the saloon, he’s lookin for his boy wanted or not he still human now give the man a answer.” 

“ fine! You woman are impossible, he went that way mister towards the overflow looked pretty shaken if you ask me hopefully you’ll get struck by lightning when this storm rolls in.” Sauntering back to house grumbling Dutch’s eyes were full of fury, it took all he had to stop himself from shooting the bastard in the back.

“ I’m sorry about that mister, my brother can a little wild at times dunno when to keep his mouth shut, my names Angie by the way,” 

“ Dutch” he held his hand down to shake hers.

“ thanks miss for that, I need to find my boy before he’s alone in this storm,” 

“ not a problem now go before my brother starts a war, this weather is really harsh this summer for storms, stay safe.” Waving Dutch rode away towards the overflow. 

Meanwhile Arthur started to regret running away, he could see the clouds starting to thicken and a distant tell tale signs of thunder could be heard in the distance. Tensing Arthur shuddered Dutch has probably headed back to camp by now, curling on himself he muttered,  
“ m’ sorry Dutch, you shoulda left me to die as a kid, I’m just a nobody”. 

Dutch observed the overflow, panic in his chest rising, no sign of him and the rumbles where getting louder. Sighing Dutch turned to leave and head back to camp.


	4. Tell Me a Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Arthur bolted from Dutch after a Shaky night will they reunite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A late update but finally got another chapter out and it’s a long one

Dutch turned to ride back to camp, but not wanting to give up so easily he glanced back over the overflow, just then he spotted or thought he spotted a horse on the ridge, wild possibly but worth a look, looking at the sky he decided he was giving it a shot and turned around making his way towards the train track and up the back way to the ridge.

Arthur sat there frozen in fear and with memories flooding back to him felt so young and helpless for the first time since he was a kid, he sat there arms wrapped around his knees, head resting on his forearms, wincing at every rumble.

“I’m so damn stupid to run from Dutch and I deserve to die here”.

unknowing to Arthur Dutch was leaning against a tree listening to the lad muttering to himself. Overwhelmed and relieved to find him the horse had indeed been the Turk, Arthur had yet to give her name only having her a week they where a new combination but she was already proving loyal.

Dutch decided to approach, slowly not wanting to risk him bolting again.

“Aren’t you a bit old for hide and seek kiddo”, 

Arthur froze and tensed but didn’t move.

Dutch chuckled and came to the his sons side, lowering himself to his knees, he looked forward, admiring the view over the water.

Lowering his voice Dutch spoke with care.

“ You wanna tell me why you ran, was it something I did?”.

Arthur didn’t reply just stared into nothing, trembling ever so slightly. Dutch sighed and just looked at some deer drinking, letting his mind wonder once again he wasn't about to leave his son alone, after all these years of knowing him he knew Arthur could be difficult, granted he had seemly grown outta this but as a kid he was quiet and took a lot of one to one to get him to open up and gain some self confidence.

Remembering some of the memories Dutch couldn’t help but laugh, more to himself than anything, hearing Dutch laugh Arthur turned his head and raised his eyebrows feeling annoyed and slightly angry due to all the emotions flooding his system, was Dutch making fun of him.

“ wha’s so funny Dutch? coz I don’t see what’s so amusing, go ahead and laugh like everyone else has in my life”

Hearing this sudden outburst Dutch quickly reined himself in, holding his hands up in surrender hoping he hadn’t pushed Arthur away he tentatively spoke with such care he actually had to think before he spoke which for Dutch didn’t come naturally easy.

“ Easy, easy it’s not what you think, I was just reminiscing that’s all, remembering all the times you was a young boy, last night it made me remember how much I miss you cuddling up to me”.

Shocked himself, Arthur looked more embarrassed than angry, suddenly looking anywhere but Dutch’s face. Not knowing what to say Dutch decided to start a conversation to hopefully get the stubborn man to tell him why he was frightened of storms.

“ you know when me and Hosea found you, you was such a quiet lad, you never really jumped at the idea to venture out, you would cling to Hosea like a barnacle when we would move camps, every noise seemed to make you jump.” 

Dutch was smiling but held sadness in his voice as he spoke, Arthur had since locked eyes on him surprised Dutch would even remember that far back, had he really ment that much to him and Hosea.

“ you know Arthur, you would crawl into my arms many nights, not very often I would get a night to myself, i would put you back to bed but you would be back not 10 minutes later”. 

Chuckling, he turned to face Arthur who has seemly forgot about the oncoming storm and was fixated on Dutch in amazement. Dutch was smiling at him with love in his eyes.

“ Hosea would come to my tent in a panic because you wasn’t in bed, only to discover you was snuggled up beside me, come to think of it, it was usually bad weather out when you would spend the whole night with me.”

Not knowing what to say, Arthur was about to form a sentence when a loud clap of thunder hit and practically jumping into Dutch’s arms, latching on to him Dutch almost lost his balance catching himself with his left arm behind his back he readjusted himself to support Arthur’s and his own weight. Arthur was now trembling more and his breathing was showing the signs of an attack and Dutch had to stop it before it went out of control.

“Arthur .... breath”. 

Holding a bit of authority in his voice hoping the leader part of him was still respected and obeyed.

“ slow it down, right down, I’m here, copy me and relax”.

Arthur seems to listen despite his state, he still followed the leaders instructions, 

“ come on let’s get back to camp, I’d like to be home before dark, I don’t fancy spending another night out here”. 

Getting to his feet Dutch extended a hand out for Arthur to take.Arthur looked up and taking his hand he pulled him back, not wanting to move before he told Dutch the truth. 

“ Dutch when I was a boy, my father threw me out into a storm because he thought I was useless”. 

Looking down at the grass, Dutch softened finally Arthur was opening up and he wasn’t about to stop him for telling this tale. Setting himself back down on the grass he faced the younger and waited for him to continue.

Taking a shuddering breath Arthur continued.

“ when I was about 13, my pa lost his mind ever since ma died he always blamed me for her death, she had worked double time to provide for me and she caught a nasty flu and died in weeks, pa worked me saying I needed to earn my keep.” 

Tears rolling down his cheeks, he looked at Dutch who lifted his hand and wiped them away bringing his boy into a warming embrace. 

“ you don’t have to tell me Arthur, if this is too much just say and we won’t say anything else about it”. 

Pulling back, Arthur shook his head.

“ no Dutch it’s ok, it’s just difficult tis all,” 

Nodding he waited for him to continue,.

“ pa, would work me, and work me, I’d only get a few rashers of food a day, bit of bread at most, if I didn’t get the job done fast enough I’d get beat and sent to bed without food.” 

Snuggling back into Dutch, he shook at the memories of his fathers fist hitting his face or a foot in his ribs, Dutch squeezed him in encouragement to continue but didn’t say a word.

“ one day pa wanted me to get a bottle of whisky from the general store, so I went but on the way back some boys from a local gang, robbed me drank the whisky and left me bruised and shattered ribs to walk home to face even more beatings, to make things worse a storm was brewing, wind was picking up and thunder was rumbling in the distance. I made back despite the pain in my side, he didn’t take to kindly to the empty bottle and threw me out on the storm told me get lost and said I was useless waste of space”.

Starting to cry Arthur’s voice broke.

“ I .. only wanted him to love me, I didn’t .. k.now what I did wrong”. 

“ oh Arthur, it’s ok I’m not your father, I’m not going to hurt you ever, you can trust me.” 

Holding him close Dutch was fuming inside, how can someone be so heartless, throwing his own son out because he got robbed.

Calming a little to carry on Arthur nuzzled Dutch’s chest before looking up.

“I know Dutch, I trust you, ........ after that I had walked about 10 minutes before the storm really hit, torrential rain battered my already bruised body, then lightning struck a dead tree and it collapsed the branch’s crushed me and the fire from the branches burn’t my skin..... I passed out from pain or exhaustion maybe both, rest of the details are fuzzy, don’t remember much, woke up at a docs”. 

Shifting slightly to reveal his back, the scar was a burn mark, Dutch ran his fingers down it tentatively he had seen it before but Arthur always said it was an accident.

“ this is a burn mark isn’t it”. Dutch mumbles 

Nodding pulling his shirt back down, laying back down into Dutch’s side.

“ yea, I’m sorry Dutch I lied to you, after that I lived on the streets and had attacks in storms ever since and you and Hosea found me a few later, my ribs have never healed fully, they still hurt if I do a lot but I don’t complain about it”. 

Dutch wiped his own tears from his eyes, pressed a kiss to his forehead before finally trusting himself to speak without breaking down.

“ which side hurts, so I don’t hurt you”.

“ right side, hurts with pressure and after last night they ache summit terrible, you haven’t done anything to make it worse, I .... like cuddling with you”.

Smiling Dutch shifted his arm so not to press against his ribs. 

“ we should be getting back it’s gone noon, do you trust me to ride through a storm Arthur Morgan”.

Standing and again holding out his hand this time Arthur took it and Dutch pulled him up.

“ yea Dutch you know I’ll follow you through anything”. Smiling Arthur realised he loved Dutch and not just as a father figure either but he would see where they went from here.

Dutch returning the smile whistles for the Count.

“ come on then let’s go I need to make sure Johns not been taking the piss”. 

Laughing Arthur followed before getting on his horse he turned to Dutch.

“ Dutch?” 

“ Yes Son” 

“ can this stay between us please, don’t want anyone at camp knowing about this”.

Pulling Arthur into a warm embrace he whispered,

“ I promise, this stays with us for as long as you want it too, I’ll tell no one”.

Looking like a child again Arthur looked Dutch in they eyes as he spoke.

“ not even Hosea?”.

Laughing this time Dutch mounted up and winked   
“ not even Hosea”. oh and Arthur..... your not useless”.

With that they ride off towards horseshoe overlook side by side into the storm, with the new found confidence Dutch had provided him with he could do this. 

Dutch knew he was still fragile and needed to keep a close eye on his boy but for now all was calm but for how long he couldn’t help but worry.


	5. Even Leaders fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even camp can be scary, will Dutch confess even he’s afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for not updating, work keeps getting in the way

The ride back to camp was calm as it could be considering the constant threat of stormy showers, Dutch was keeping a watchful eye on the younger, not being that much younger than himself Arthur seemed to act like a 10yr old, unsure and scared and in need of someone to love and cuddle up to. 

Dutch’s heart fluttered at the thought of him being that one person Arthur had opened up to and trusted. The guy was following him through a bloody thunderstorm despite being terrified.

Suddenly at seemed to be too much and Arthur started to cry.

“D... Dutch, please c... can we stop”

“ I.... I can’t do this”.

Hearing the desperate pleas, Dutch shot his head back over his shoulder, cursing he pulled up and dismounted, briskly making his way over to Arthur’s trembling form.

“Arthur, you need to trust me, camps literally over the hill, you can do this, I have every faith in you” 

Shaking his head, Arthur wept and feeling dizzy began to sway in the saddle, with on last ditch effort to get the panic stricken man to calm down and listen, Dutch reached up and placed his hands in Arthur’s.

“ now listen to me son, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid, your not useless or alone. I’m right here and I trust you with my life always have, I know you trust me, you are the strongest person I know and definitely the most amazing”.

Stunned Arthur looked down and locking eyes with his mentor, smiled and gave a shaky nod.

“ I’ll be right here every step of the way, we are all frightened of something even me believe it or not and you know what I’m afraid of?”

“ you, your afraid of something the great al mighty Dutch Van Der Linde is scared of summit”,

Even though spoke with sarcasm there was no malice behind it. Chuckling at the cheeky buggers words Dutch shook his head not believing he was about to confess something he always promised himself he wouldn’t.

“ yes Arthur, I’m scared of loosing you and being alone, loosing my family ... I never knew much of having a proper family either and when you ran off I almost had a panic attack of my own fearing you’d left me or gotten hurt or that you hurt yourself because of me”.

Looking down at the golden coat of Arthur’s horse he felt a gentle hand rub his shoulder, lifting his head he was met with tears but not tears of sorrow or fear but tears of love and happiness.

“ you know I’d never leave you Dutch, I love you to much for that, I just feared you wouldn’t want me because I’m not the person you want me to be, I try to be.”

“ I’m gunna stop you right there Arthur, your perfect the way you are, shall we get home.”

Moving to mount back up, Dutch wiped tears from his eyes before anyone at camp noticed.

“ Dutch”

“ yea Arthur” 

“ Don’t rebuild your wall, just because your at camp, I like this version of you,”

Smiling at him, Dutch knew he couldn’t refuse a cuddle from Arthur anymore even if he tried the camp would notice and Hosea definitely would question it, but if Arthur could fight a fear of storms then so could he.

“If you want to come to me in the middle of the night, or day you do it, I’d rather you be with me than having an episode on your own, molly can go with the girls she’s starting to annoy me anyway, last night was the most peaceful night I’ve ever had and I like you more”

“ Dutch I can’t ask you to turf her out, it’s not fair” 

“ Arthur she isn't being kick out of the gang ok, come on”

They ride into camp, Dutch had since tensed trying to put on a face of authority.

Putting a hand on his knee, as he rode up along side, Dutch relaxed and almost leaned into the touch.

“ relax, you ain’t got nothing to prove” 

Smiling at him Dutch and Arthur rode into camp.


	6. Camp Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally back at camp all good or sonwe think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for not updating I’m trying my best

Arriving back at camp, saying hi to Charles as they rode in, hitching the horses Dutch eyed Hosea walking towards them, both with concern and relief on his face.

“ go get some rest Arthur, you need to relax, if you need me just holler, I think Hosea wants some answers as to why we are late.” 

“Dutch you promised, you wouldn’t tell anyone even Hosea”.

Placing a comforting hand on the younger’s trembling form, more from exhaustion and the dull ache in his side more than panic.

“ I won’t, I promised you I wouldn’t that’s for you to say ok now go lay down before you fall down”.

Swaying a few steps, Dutch resisted the argue to wrap his arms around him and get him to the safety of his cot, watching as Arthur walked rather unsteadily to his cot, pinching the bridge of his nose he was trying to work out how this would work.

“ what’s goin off Dutch?” 

Drawing Dutch from his thought he opened his eyes sighed before looking at Hosea.

“ Arthur fell a little sick on the journey home, nothin to worry about we just camped instead of riding back the whole way, so he could rest, he’ll be ok with a little rest”. 

Hosea raised a eyebrow at the leaders claim, then glanced a worrying look towards Arthur who had since slung himself on the cot, looking very disheveled and weak, Hosea was about to make his way over to him when Dutch put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

“ let him rest Hosea, I’ll check on him later, for now just let the boy sleep, and I too need some shut eye if that’s ok with you, 

Suddenly feeling the days catching up, Dutch made his way to his tent to rest, glancing at Arthur who had fallen into a somewhat peaceful sleep, smiling at him he went to get a few hour.

Unfortunately the peace wouldn’t last.

“ hey old man where’s loudmouth”.

“ he has a name Micah, and he’s resting, leave him be”.

Hosea was beginning to think something wasn’t right with having Micah around he couldn’t work out what it was. John made his way over to the bickering pair.

“ Micha don’t you know when to stop botherin, people” 

“ what’s it to you golden boy,” 

“That’s enough both of you, Micha go take watch and stay outta trouble”.

Watching Micah grumbling as he headed off to his post Hosea have John a knowing smile.

“ I’m worried about Arthur, he’s never one for stayin in bed, and even more so for Dutch to let him, what’s goin off” 

“ I don’t know much Son, Dutch said Arthur fell a little sick on the way from the job, by the looks of it Dutch was up with him most of the night, coz he’s gone for rest too”.

“ sick.... Arthur, will he be ok, should I go check on him ... make sure” 

“ John Son, I’m sure he will be fine, Dutch didn’t seem to concerned he told me to keep everyone away from him for a while let him rest” 

Looking less than convinced John wondered off to his horse to head on out for the days jobs.

Hosea just gave a worried glance at Arthur, since he came back it looked like he was sweating and shaking, significantly worse than he came back.

“ sod it”

Muttering Hosea made his way to check on his first son, on entering Hosea put a back hand to his forehead and cursed.

“ fuck, your burnin up kid,” 

“ D .... Dutch, I’m cold, DUTCH” 

Arhur was suddenly flailing on the cot shouting bloody murder for Dutch. 

“ Arthur it’s me Hosea, you need to calm down, you’ve got a fever” 

Trying to calm Arthur down he didn’t realise Dutch was tiredly making his way over. With concern laced across his face, Arthur was having another attack and Hosea as good as he was didn’t know how to deal with it, to make matters worse it was thundering.

“ Hosea what’s wrong” 

“ he’s real sick Dutch, he’s got a fever” 

Kneeling down so he was face to face with Arthur, he looked over him more carefully noting his arm wrapped around his chest, frowning he knew it wasn’t a fever but more of the pain from these attacks and battered ribs from his youth.

“ Arthur, I’m here, it’s ok breath for me yea”

“ D.... utch ma chest urts, I’m tired, can you stay” 

Smiling Dutch knew he wasn’t in any real danger just needed time to heal, getting up, knees cracking with the effort he turned to Hosea giving a sad smile.

“ he’ll be ok Hosea, just need to calm him down that’s all” 

“ CALM him down, Dutch look at him will ya, he needs a doctor” 

Ignoring the elders outburst knowing he’s just worried at doesn’t know the real reason, Dutch began to shift Arthur so he could slip in behind him, just like he had done in the tent on that first night, wrapping his arm around his abdomen and bringing his body flush against his chest, Hosea just stared in amazement, Dutch had never showed this much affection in camp or ever for that matter but here he was cuddling Arthur like he was 15 again.  
Bringing him out of his thought Dutch began the mantra of soothing sentences into Arthur’s ear, Hosea noticed the he was using his free arm to support his right side in a rather careful manner.

“ breath with me son, steady and calm, I’m here, you not alone” 

Bringing his head to his shoulder, they started breathing in sync, wiping the sweat from Arthur’s brow he offered Hosea a smile.

“ he’s ok Hosea, if he wants to tell you he will, but I promised I wouldn’t, but he’s not dying so don’t go thinking that, he’s just sore and tired” 

Placing a kiss on top of the mans head, Arthur relaxed and fell back asleep in Dutch’s arms. It was gone 9pm Dutch looked at Hosea while still keeping holding of Arthur.

“ go get some sleep Hosea, I’ll stay with him for tonight, we’ll be ok” 

Reluctantly, Hosea stood and nodded, before he left he glanced back.

“ you know Dutch, Colm always said you don’t have a heart, and for a time I believed him, but seeing this, you have a big heart, you shouldn’t hide it behind that wall of yours.” 

Smiling back Dutch muttered a thank you, blushing in the darkness hoping Hosea wouldn’t notice, turning around to give the two some privacy, Hosea smiles, 

“ soft bastard loves Arthur, thinks he can hide it” 

Laughing softly to himself he was actually glad Dutch had found love again. 

Micha however was watching the events unfold,

“ well well cowpoke is scared of something, this should be fun” 

Snickering Miach started planning.


	7. Never Trust a Rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Micah puts his plan into action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update

“ DUTCH VAN DER LINDE” 

Bringing him from his sleep Dutch knew that irritating voice anywhere, looking down at a still slumbering Arthur he smiled before shooting an annoyed look towards Molly.

“ keep your voice down miss, can’t you see the kids trying to sleep.”

“ bullshit Dutch, you two timing bastard, shoulda known you’d replace me eventually, you think I’m a pushover don’t you, your fuck toy, well newsflash I ain’t.”

“ calm yourself miss, Arthur is more than entitled to my attention he’s been my boy long before you came and if I’m honest I tried to resist the urge to be with him so I gave loving women ago with Annabelle and with you, I did love Annabelle with all my heart and it made me scared to love Arthur in the same way for loosing him.”

Molly’s look could kill a gang on the spot, she was feeling used and lets be honest she kind of was, given the fact Dutch has just admitted it.

“ your a bastard Dutch, I should turn you in right now.”

Giving a threatening look to her. Dutch was ready to shoot her there and then but deep down he couldn’t blame her for feeling like that. 

“ think about what your saying Molly, I took you in, i was a fool to think I could love anyone but him, call me strange but I can’t hide my feelings any longer.”

Storming out, Arthur began to stir.

“ whats that about, did she have to shout that loud I ain’t deaf” Arthur grumbled snuggling back into Dutch’s chest, chuckling Dutch brushed a loose strand of hair from his face.

“ she will get over it, she’s a little sour because I spent the night with you, how you feeling?” 

Wincing Arthur tried to sit up straight but ended up gasping and clamping a arm around his ribs. 

“ does that answer your question, I feel like I’ve been hit by a goddamn train” 

“ stay and rest ok, i need to go and see Hosea about some plans, if you need me, no matter how small just shout.”

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, Dutch wormed his way out from behind the younger easing him back down carefully, suddenly Arthur gasped and coughed,  
pain suddenly shooting through his ribs, Dutch quickly lowered himself down bracing an arm behind him.

“ Jesus, sorry Arthur, I didn’t mean to make it hurt, how come it’s never been this bad before I would of noticed, just breath, it’ll be ok I won’t go until your ok, I won’t leave you I promise.”

“ m’ok Dutch just jostled them that’s all, feeling a little sore, you didn’t do nuffin.”

“ you sure your ok, I can have Hosea come here instead, so I can keep an eye on you.”

Waving Dutch away, Arthur had to smirk, if he was being honest he kinda liked this version of Dutch he had missed it more than he realised.

“ I’ll be fine Dutch, go on, and the answer to your earlier question about it’s not been this bad, your right this the worst it’s been for a long time, probably pulled summit, it’ll settle always does.”

Smiling and satisfied that his boy was going to be ok without him for a while he got up got dressed and went to see Hosea.

“ well cowpoke, didn’t know you was such a weakling.”

Micah, of course who else.

“ bugger off Micah, go cause trouble for someone else and leave me be, I ain’t in the mood to listen to your shit.”

“ now now be nice Arthur, Dutch wanted me to keep and eye on you, in fact he said your being a waste of space here and wants you to go out and bring in some money.”

Arthur felt like he’d been hit in heart with a bullet, Dutch did think he was a waste of space, was he just saying it’s ok, was he discussing with Hosea about cutting him loose, feeling overwhelmed and panicked he painfully forced himself to his feet, swaying slightly and pinching the bridge of his nose while it passed, he gave Micah an annoyed look. 

“ fine, let’s go, if it’s money Dutch wants it’s money he will get.”

Getting dressed and grabbing his guns, which took way to long, sweating in pain and resisting the urge to coil around himself. Arthur steadily made his way to his horse, eyeing Dutch chatting to Hosea with his back turned to him he felt tears threatening to spill. Blinking them away he gasped as the pull on his ribs shot pain through his chest as he pulled himself into the saddle.

Micah sneered and mounted.

“ better get goin cowpoke, don’t want Dutch seeing how weak you are, don’t worry I’ll keep my eye on you.”

Huffing Arthur rode off behind Micah. Miach meanwhile was smiling.

“ perfect this is goin to be easier than I thought.”

Meanwhile back at camp Dutch was oblivious to everything Micah had said and done and more importantly Arthur’s absence.

“ so Dutch, you and Arthur eh.”

“Oh shut up Hosea.” 

Dutch laughed but couldn’t deny that Hosea was right he loved the boy.

“ Arthur going to be ok, he looked really weak and in pain?”

“ he’s ok Hosea, slept peacefully last night, his ribs hurt him that’s all, you know what it’s like yourself when you’ve hurt your ribs.”

“ you said he was sick, what did he do to his ribs, your story don’t make sense.”

Sighing Dutch knew he wasn’t making sense, but a promise is a promise and he wasn’t about to break it.

“ look Hosea it’s not place to say you want to know go ask him, see if he will tell you.”

Getting up Hosea made his way to Arthur’s cot.

Meanwhile Arthur and Micah had gotten a fair distance from camp. When Miach suddenly pulled his horse up, dismounting he made to look for something, hoping to draw Arthur in.

“ what are we doin Miach, don’t test my patience coz I have non.”

“ shut up and get down here, think I got something.”

Slowly dismounting, silencing a gasp, he made his way over to where Micah was crouched.

“ what you found, it had better be good.” 

Without warning Micah shot up and landed a hit to his side, unable to take the hit Arthur crumpled to the floor in agony.

“ well I did expect a little fight from you Arthur buuuuut I kinda like this better.”

Forcing himself to look up, Arthur knew there and then it had been a trick.

“ y... ou rat Micah!”

Kneeling down to his level Micha grabs his chin and forces him to look into his eyes.

“ ya know Dutch is hard to bring in, thought I’d have to get rid of Hosea, but I was wrong, I was gunna leave you alone but seeing what I saw last night I had to make a slight alteration to my plan.” 

“ w...a u tttalkin bout”

“ oh Arthur, you really are stupid aren’t you”

Standing Miach tied Arthur’s wrists together and threw him in a ditch, then tied his legs together. 

Sitting on the ditches side looking down at a now pale Arthur who was struggling to get a decent breath in.

“ you see, the Pinkertons offered me a decent price for Dutch and since he listens to me, all I gotta say is I had to kill you because you was the rat”.

“ y..oull n....ever get away ....... with this” 

Jumping down to his side Micha kicked him in his side again hearing bone crack, yes definitely broken again, Arthur cried, really cried in pain, Miach bent down to his face and took Arthur’s hands in his own before taking a knife and whispering.

“ oh Arthur, I already have.”

With that the knife cut Arthur’s wrist, blood began to pour from the wound, shaking from pain and blood loss, he gave Micah one last look before passing out.

“ pathetic, hopefully this storm will wash him out to the river, now we tell Dutch he’s the rat.”

Laughing Miach rubbed Arthur’s blood on his clothes to make it look authentic, he mounted up and rode back to camp. 

Back at camp Hosea was in a state of panic and Dutch was out of his mind.

“ well he couldn’t of wondered off, he couldn’t even get up.”

“ Dutch calm down we will find him ok.”

Gulping Dutch nodded, just as he was about to say something he heard hooves thundering back through the trees, ..... it was Miach.

“ boss, boss, the Pinkertons will be coming for us” 

This made Dutch bristle and Hosea raised an eyebrow at him.

“ where’s that blood come from Micah?”

Hosea walked towards him, and began to make a judgment of his own. 

“ Dutch it’s Arthur’s blood, I ... killed him..... he’s the rat, spotted him leavin and he went to the Pinkertons.... I had to stop him. So I shot him dead.”

Dutch’s heart broke, no it couldn't be his boy, friend and new found lover, was a traitor. In a rage Dutch looked like a loose cannon.

“ I’m sorry boss, I wish there was something else I coulda done.”

“ ok Miach. Could you leave me alone for a while and get planning to pack up.”

As Miach walked away Hosea turned about to a raging Dutch who was slamming a knife into a barrel. 

“ Dutch....”

“ how could he do this to me, everything I’ve done for him, he turned out to be a goddamn rat.”

“ Dutch do you really, I mean really think Arthur would do that to us.... to you.”

Hosea kneeled down facing the barrel and place a hand on his to still the knife.

“ let’s go to your tent and talk about this properly, think about things ok.”

Nodding Dutch stood up and went inside and Hosea followed pulling the tent flaps behind him. Then Dutch surprised him again and broke down collapsing into him.

“ why would Arthur do this to me, maybe Miach is the way forward.”


	8. Darkest Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to figure out what’s wrong, what he’s done wrong, separated and heartbroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for late update but found a free spare few hour

Dutch was in a state of shock and Hosea could see that plain as day, what was worrying him was the fact he was believing Micah, Hosea on the other hand had a feeling something wasn’t adding up.

“ easy Dutch, remember what you’ve been telling Arthur to do all this time and breath.”

Hearing that name Dutch shot his head up with anger written all over his face.

“ he betrayed me ..... betrayed us Hosea, you know the rules.”

“ good lord Dutch are you hearing yourself, how long have we known Arthur, think about what Micah was saying will ya and stop taking in what he said.”

“ Hosea..... I just don’t know if I can believe Arthur, Micah has been good to us why would he lie to me.”

Rolling his eyes, Dutch could be so oblivious at times for a man with high intellect, Hosea just gave to him straight, he was hoping Dutch would just think for once.

“ isn’t it obvious, Micah wants to be your right hand man, he wants Arthur out the picture and to do that he needs to get you to hate him.”

“ I....... I could never hate him, I just don’t know if I can bring myself to trust that he wouldn’t betray me.”

“ you love him Dutch pure and simple and hearing that he may of done this, it’s hurt you and that’s understandable but are you going to take ones mans word for it or you going to explore all possibilities.”

Looking up with red eyes and blotchy face Hosea could just only look with sympathy giving the leader a hopeful look that he was getting through to him.

“ ok your right, like you always are, if Arthur has done this I can’t bring myself to trust again I’m sorry.”

Nodding it’s the closest Hosea was going to get to an agreement and he will take it.

“ boss, boss we need to move, we ain’t got long that rat told them exactly where we are.”

Both Hosea and Dutch looked towards the tent entrance.

“ should we move, you think, I still think he wouldn’t lie Hosea.”

“ Micah go make yourself useful, we aren’t finished and when we are, Dutch will let you know when you can come talk to him.”

Hearing trudging boots through the soggy ground, Hosea gave a sigh of relief.

“ Dutch? What are you doing.”

“ Leaving Hosea, Micah has the right plans, and I can’t take chances I’m sorry.”

“ you can’t be serious Dutch, Arthur wouldn’t do this and you know it.”

“ Hosea if your not coming with me I’ll leave you with the gang to face the music, me and Micah are leaving now.”

Turning Dutch walked out, not quite understanding what just happened, Hosea just stared into space, trying to process what to do next, if Dutch managed to ride away there was no finding him again, He was just scared but Dutch being Dutch was using Micah as a way out to forget the pain, placing his head in his hands he heard a shuffle of boots outside.”

“ Hosea, can I come in.”

John, course it was, always concerned when it came to him family poor kid, he loved Arthur has a elder brother and Dutch was the father he never had.

“ of course John, you ok son.”

“ where’s Dutch and Micah going.”

“ dear Dutch and Micah are leaving.”

“ what! Why.”

“ Dutch is convinced that Arthur ratted is out by believing what Micah said.”

Well that’s funny Hosea, coz I heard Micah telling Arthur that Dutch thought he was useless and that he wasn’t doing enough for the camp.  
Said summit about about he was going to help Arthur get some funds to please Dutch, Arthur looked ready to collapse when they left, looked heart broken too.”

Hearing this had confirmed his suspicions he had to go get Dutch.

“ fuck, John go get Dutch now before they leave, I think Arthur is in danger let’s just hope he isn’t dead like Micah had said.” 

Meanwhile in the Darkest night that Arthur had ever known, he was bleeding out and no way in hell he was getting out of this, Dutch would hate him now anyway. Struggling to breath he felt the grip on life slipping, least he had some love right even if it was for a short time.


	9. A Friend in Need Trust Your Steed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A loyal horse can just be your only hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter the support has been amazing and I thank you will more

__“A _horse can get you out of loads of trouble, the right horse can be your friend for life and most can never be replaced, Arthur treat the horse with the love and respect you expect yourself and they will return it, a good bond can be the key to life and death.”_

_” But Dutch, how will it know I need it to help me.”_

_”Oh my curious boy, you will know when you need it, promise me to treat every steed with care.”_

_” I promise Dutch.”_

_” Atta boy, I love you son”._

Hearing the word son in the deepest depths of his mind Arthur, pulled himself back to the living world, gasping at the pain in his side, Arthur began to work out the possibilities of getting out of this alive, actual fact it was next to non he couldn’t move, he was loosing blood fast from the slit in his wrist and if that wasn’t enough his newly shattered ribs where making breathing impossible.

 

Lifting his head he tried to weakly call his horse hoping she was still around, she has probably bolted by now, about to give up, he felt a soft muzzle nuzzle his hair.

“ ello .... girl” 

The mare snorted, pawed the ground looked like she was willing him to get up, that wasn’t happening not a hope in hell of that, his only chance now was his horse, Arthur couldn’t believe he was about to do this.

“ y...ou otta go, go camp, .... get elp.”

Yes Arthur thought he was going nuts talking to a bloody horse like it’s going to respond with a no problem friend. If laying in your own blood in a ditch was bad enough suppose talking to a horse wasn’t that bad.

Eyes glazed over and in pain Arthur looked into the mares eyes.

“ y..... o....u need a name, dddont cha gurl.”

“How Hope ssssound.”

Sapping all his strength, Arthur slumped to the ground fading into unconsciousness again. 

The mare who had been given the name Hope nuzzled her unconscious owners body before turning and trotting up the ditch and into the night.

Back at camp Dutch and John was in a massive verbal war, with Micah using his clever words to persuade Dutch even further that they should leave together.

After gathering his whits Hosea knew what he had to do and this could kill him but if it ment getting Dutch to listen it was worth it.

Hearing enough of the pair exploding at each other Hosea stormed his way over to them fully prepared to step in, forming a plan with every step he came to johns side.

“ easy John I’ll take it from here Son it’s ok.”

“ Hosea you know the rules, even Arthur isn't going to be treated any different, betray me and he has to go, Micah has done good.”

That’s it Hosea has heard enough and if he was right Miach would come undone.

Hosea said nothing but moved to stand between Dutch and Micah, turning to face Dutch he stared into the leaders eyes.

“ Dutch, we’ve raised Arthur, do you think he would give up his family and give up you for the sake of telling the Pinkertons where we are.” 

“ Hosea ..... I ....I don’t know.”

“ yes you do Dutch, your just scared and that’s ok but running away with the first person who says what you want to hear isn’t the right thing to do and you know it.”

“ pipe up old man, move otta the bosses way your going to get him and us captured they will be here soon, your working with Arthur on this I knew it your all rats.”

John made to move to Hosea just raised his hand signalling him to stop, still looking at Dutch, he answered Micah with a tone that Dutch had never heard before, it was like Hosea had accepted death there and then like he knew his next words would kill him.

“Micah we both know the Pinkertons aren’t coming, why did you tell Arthur that Dutch thinks he’s useless.”

Dutch’s mouth fell open and his eyes flicked between Miach and Hosea.  
Miach drew his gun and pointed it at Hosea’s back, Hosea didn’t flinch but kept his eyes on Dutch.  
John flinched and willed Dutch to say something, he was about to step in when Hosea shook his head at him and made him still again.

“ Miach is this true?.”

“ Dutch he’s Liiiiiing, come on buddy let’s go before we get caught, move old man let Dutch pass before I put you outta your misery.”

Hosea stayed still not moving an inch, Dutch swallowed.

“ Hosea .... how do you know what Micah said.”

“ oh Dutch, you aren’t the only person who keeps an eye on Arthur, John Son tell Dutch what you told me it’s ok.”

Unsure John came forward and stood half way between Dutch and Micah, looking at Hosea who smiled and nodded before looking at Dutch.

“ I ... was on watch and after you left to talk to Hosea, I saw Miach walking over to Arthur, so I quickly got out of sight but close enough to listen,Miach told Arthur that you said he was useless and needed to bring in money, Arthur looked heart broken Dutch, I think he really believed him..... anyway Arthur struggled to get up and the pair went to the hitching posts, heard Micah saying he would help Arthur bring you money back to please you and that’s all I heard before they rode off.”

Dutch has tears down his cheeks and didn’t realise he was crying until Hosea reaches up to wipe them away. 

“ it’s ok Dutch, but you now need to rectify this situation Arthur could still be alive and only Micah knows where.”

Hearing a click of a gun, Dutch had to act quickly.

“ PUT the gun down Micah, you shoot him I’ll gut you.” 

Dutch was stern and angry and hearing what John said seemed to knock some sense back into him.

“ Dutch it’s all lies I wouldn’t do that I’m protecting you don’t you see.”

Finally turning around Hosea smirked.

“ Micah what you don’t realise is this gang is a close knit family and John and Arthur are brothers, John would never lie about his older brothers safety and certainly wouldn’t lie to Dutch.”

Dutch crying and smiling all at once realised that Hosea is right and to prove it he put himself in harms way to get him to listen, hating himself for even allowing that to happen he knew he had to make a difference now before Micah shot either of them.

“ John Son could you.”

Making a looping motion with his finger John smiled and nodded and before Micah knew what was happening he was lassoed and hogtied.

“ what the fuck you doin, Dutch come on they’ve brainwashed you.”

Kneeling down to Micah, grabbing his face he brought his fist to his cheek.

“ now Micah, are we on the same level where is my boy!.”

“ I’d rather die than tell you fuck face.”

“ that can be arranged.”

Standing Dutch put his hand on Hoseas shoulder before turning to John.

“ thanks son, make Miach talk get what you can from him, tie him up no food or water.”

Smirking, John dragged Micah away.

“ Hosea what are we going do there’s no telling where Arthur is, i ... i made a terrible mistake.”

Dutch broke down crying into Hosea.

“ I know, I know it’s ok Dutch shhhhh, calm down we need to think now, we need to find him either way, if .... if he’s dead we need to know he’s home.”

Sniffing Dutch nodded pulling back wiping his tears Dutch knew he’d fucked up big time and knew he’d let Arthur down and left him alone promising he never would he broke that already.

“ I ..... I love him Hosea, I love him.”

Smiling Hosea pulled him into a hug.

“ I know you do, you softie  
question is though where do we start I don’t think Micah will talk.” 

Just as they thought they were at a loss, a golden horse came crashing through camp, eyes widening at the scene Dutch couldn’t believe it.

“ tha..... that’s Arthur horse, she looks panicked.”

Other gang members tried to stop her but she bolted and made a b line for Dutch where she skidded to a halt and reared, nipping at Dutch’s shirt and pulling she seemed to be trying to drag him.

Hosea patted her neck.

“ Dutch I think she’s trying to tell us something.”

“ hmmmm I agree, what is it so girl, where’s Arthur can you take us.”

Letting out a loud whinny she got to her knees and side shuffled her flank towards Dutch, remarkable Hosea thought she wanted Dutch to mount her.

“ Dutch get on her now, I think she’s going to take you to him.”

Putting a leg over her back she got to her feet and started towards the trees. Dutch patted her neck and looked over his shoulder to see Hosea mounting Silver Dollar.

“ Go Dutch we will catch you up John you keep an eye on camp and keep Micah tied up.”

Nodding John grabbed his gun and pointed it at Micah’s head. 

“ for your sake you had better hope they find him alive.”

Dutch was gone leaving dust in his wake.

“ come on girl, get me to my boy, hold on Arthur I’m coming.”


	10. Never Put Love Aside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Arthur in trouble and the only chance he has is his horse now name Hope can she deliver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for late updates been working on other projects and work been struggling to fit it in

_“Now Arthur what did you do, Why did you run away, Dutch has been worried sick.....literally son.”_

_” I’m sorry Hosea I re....ally am.”_

_Arthurs sobbing his eyes out, not wanting to be hit or thrown out or even worse hated by the one he loves most .....Dutch_

_“Arthur, take it easy, your only 15 and understandable that Dutch scared you, he’s not been himself recently and you’ve just been in the wrong place at the wrong time I can assure u son, Dutch doesn’t hate you far from it, he’s gotten himself sick worrying about you.”_

_feeling worse for running off for getting Dutch sick, Arthur just looked to floor tears streaming down his cheeks._

_” W .... will he be ok, it’s all my fauuuult Hosea, oh god I’m so sorry.”_

_” Hey hey, c’mere Son shhhh it’s ok, Dutch will be fine he’s just not slept for 4 days and not eaten anything, silly git made himself sick, he’s still awake now silly bastard won’t sleep, thinks you won’t come back to him....”_

_looking over to Dutchs tent which was drawn closed, Arthur’s lip trembled looking back at Hosea for guidance, Hosea gave him a sad smile._

_”Arthur.... go to him, both of you need sleep, I can assure you he won’t shout at you again, or go to hurt you, he needs rest and both of you can get that together.”_

_nodding Arthur slowly and tentatively made his way over to Dutchs tent, stopping outside the tent, he glanced back at Hosea who nodded him to go forward, opening the tent Arthur could of broke there and then Dutch was laying on his cot with a cold rag on his forehead a sick bucket next to the bed and blankets covering him way to many for the time of year._

_Arthur made is way over to his side and dropped to his knees, the dam broke and he sobbed into the cot side._

_Hearing the sobs Dutch groaned in pain and the dizziness in his head from lack of food and sleep. Closing his eyes to will it away, he slowly made to sit up, eyes catching the sorry sight of his son sobbing his heart out next to him, so out of it that he didn’t realise Dutch is watching him._

_”I’m so so so ... sorry Dutch ..... please don’t leave me.”_

_sighing Dutch used what little strength he had and reached down to pit his arms under his arms to lift him up, being mistreated Arthur weight next to nothing for a boy his age. Feeling the pressure of hands Arthur looks up to a sickly looking Dutch and just cried harder burying his head into his chest._

_”shhhhhh Son, it’s ok, I’m just so glad you’ve come home, I couldn’t forgive myself for what I did when I shouted at you.”_

_voice deeper than usual, Dutch had to take a pause to will away the nausea threatening to make him spill, now wanting to worry the boy further he made to lay down pulling Arthur with him._

_”when I’m feeling better we will go and do something together just you and me, how does a new horse sound.”_

_nodding Arthur mumbling something Dutch was to sick to ask, he kissed his head and closed his eyes with his boy now safe and back at his side._

_”never leave love aside Arthur, I love you.”_

Remembering how Arthur had been so worried because he had gotten himself sick worrying about that his boy won’t come home, Dutch began to cry as he rode the golden mare letting her steer him. Dutch had fucked up and maybe he realised to late.

Suddenly the mare slowed and veered off down the grass verge.

“ what is it girl, is Arthur this way.”

The mare cane to stop at the top of the ditch and what Dutch saw just about stopped his heart, Arthur was tied up unconscious and bleeding.

“ oh god no, Arthur please, HOSEA I FOUND HIM.”

Hearing hoof beats behind him a second horse pulled up beside him.

“ oh dear god, Dutch grab those bandages now.”

Getting off the mare and grabbing bandages out of Hosea’s saddleback they both sprinted down the ditch. Dutch crashes to his knees by Arthur’s side hands scrambling to find a pulse, tears streaming down his face,  
Hosea had seen this before when Dutch made himself sick over the thought of loosing Arthur, knowing he had to be strong for both of the men, Hosea put a hand on Dutchs shoulder.

“Dutch he’s alive, but for how long I don’t know I can try and stem the bleeding his wrist is cut pretty bad.”

“ It’s ..... all my fault Hosea, .... if he dies.... I can’t go on..... I just can’t.”

Wrapping Arthur’s wrist and not knowing what to say, since Dutch did make a pretty big mistake, at least he was here with him now. After Hosea stemmed the bleeding, he went to move him to allow Dutch to help lift him up Arthur suddenly groaned in pain and cried out, hands gripping his ribs.

“ Arthur.... what hurts tell me, what did Micah do to you.”

In to much pain to respond Hosea couldn’t work out what hurt and not wanting to move Arthur further he was lost on what to do next. Suddenly Dutch seemed to of pulled himself together at his lovers cry he made his way over to Arthur and crawled behind him sitting in the rain that had unfortunately began to fall, Hosea looked in amazement one minute Dutch was a mess and now he was cool and collected this guy really does have some odd ways. 

Dutch rested his left arm on Arthur’s slit and bandaged wrist and rubbed his blooded up hand, while his right he splayed is hand, put it to his ribs and supported his side, Hosea didn’t fail to notice how Dutch was so careful around that area just like he was back at camp.

“Arthur.... I know you can hear me, I’m with you, I found you, do your ribs hurt, is that what’s causing the most pain?”

Shaking in his arms Arthur was to weak and in pain to respond he just shuddered with the cold, blood loss, pain maybe all three, seeing that his boy was trying to communicate Dutch hushed him.

“ ok ok just nod.... is it your ribs?”

Giving a weak nod, Arthur felt useless, Dutch hummed and looked at Hosea.

“ Hosea can you get the rest of the bandages we need to strap his ribs, I think Micah has broken them, he’s weaker in that side he probably couldn’t take the hit.”

From his knees Hosea got to his feet and made his way up the bank, grabbing the supply’s he was back as there sides.

“ ok Dutch hold him steady, this is going to hurt.”

Bracing himself against Arthur’s back, Dutch was making soothing voices in his ear.

“ it’s ok Arthur, try and follow my breathing ok, I know you can do it.”

Suddenly Arthur screamed as Hosea tightened the bandage around his side, Dutch held firm and always trying but failing to hold the tears, when Hosea had done he sat back on his knees and pinch the bridge of his nose,

“ we can’t get him back like this Dutch, his wrist is still bleeding and these ribs are to unstable to ride a horse, he would most likely die on the way back.”

“ Hosea, go ..... leave me with him.”

“ ..... Dutch I .... no.... you can’t defend yourself let alone him.... if someone finds you you’ll both be dead for sure.”

“ Hosea it’s ..... it’s ok.... go back to camp get a wagon, if I die here then least I die with him, I won’t leave him... not again.”

Looking down at the pair in the soaking ground, Hosea gave a sad smile and rose to his feet going to his horse he came back with a bedroll, looking up Dutch smiled as Hosea tucked it around them.

“ it should keep you both a little warmer until I get back, and keep fighting Arthur ya hear.”

“ I ere ya.”

The look of shock on both men’s faces as Arthur had responded to him, Dutch smiled as tears dropped from his chin, his boy was still fighting and Hosea looked back and returned the smile before mounting up and galloping off back to camp.

Alone with his boy again in the rain and in his arms, Dutch clutched onto him for dear life.

“ please fight for me Arthur I love you.”

With tired eyes Arthur looked into the elders eyes and gave a weak breathless smile and with a the softest, rough voice he gave Dutch the one answer he needed, the same line he gave Arthur all those years ago when they ended up in each other’s arms clutching a sick Dutch.

“ never leave love aside Dutch.”


	11. Let me Love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being alone with Arthur in such a fragile state it’s now or never to officially admit such love for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about updates  
> I apologise for any spelling mistakes

Hosea races back to camp, heart and mind going faster than his horse, he knew Arthur didn’t have much chance of survival, but any chance was worth taking for his son and fur his friends wellbeing, as he came into camp he gave a shout to ready a wagon as quick as they can.

“ Hosea did .... did you find him..... where’s Dutch.”

“ John.... we have found Arthur..... but he’s in a bad way, I’ve come back for a wagon, Arthur won’t be able to ride in his state, that bastard has shattered his ribs and slit his wrist to provide his own cover story.”

“That fucking..... rat.... I’ll kill him, Dutch ok?.”

“ He’s .... shaken but coping..... I think, he’s stayed with him, sat in the rain pair of them, Dutch really does love the kid.”

As the wagon was ready, horses hitched, John and Hosea left camp to head back.

Despite the rain, Dutch didn’t care if he got sick, so long as his boy made it, Arthur’s ragged breaths where painful for him to hear, but he had perked up slightly being in his company.

“ utch .. ya gunna et sick.”

“ shhhhh my boy, save your breath, I don’t care if I get sick all I care about is you, and getting you out alive, getting you home and healed.”

Dutch hadn't realised he was crying until Arthur brought a weak bloodied hand to his face and shakily wiped tears from his cheeks.

“ don’t cry, it’s my fault for goin with Micah.”

“ no Arthur it’s my fault for believing him, I ..... was going to leave you..... I’m so goddamn sorry ..... I really am I was scared, I didn’t think, and it’s nearly killed you because I couldn’t face my fear of being heart broken again.”

As if forgetting the pain, Arthur even though was livid that Dutch believe that rat bastard, though to hell with this, gunna die anyway, probably, ain’t got much to loose.

He lifted his head and beckoned Dutch to lower his, as if he wanted to whisper something Dutch was prepared to say goodbye even though he didn’t want to, what he didn’t expect what Arthur to lock lips with him in a slow tender kiss, shocked at the gesture Dutch stilled wide eyed before returning the kiss just as passionately, humming into the kiss it seemed to last forever, when they broke apart, Arthur was smiling but looked deathly pale.

“ I love you Dutch, what matters is you came for me, god I feel cold.”

“ oh my boy I love you too, I know son hold on for me, I know your cold but please I can’t loose you again.”

But despite trying Arthur was exhausted and was slipping, cold and weak, the rain was falling still, Dutch looked to the horizon to find two lanterns on a wagon, Hosea.


	12. Fighting For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hosea and Dutch along with John, bring a crippled Arthur back to camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry late updates I haven’t abandoned I promise

As the wagon got closer, seated upon it was Hosea and John, Dutch’s heart swelled with pride at his youngest son, John had always been a rebel child more confident of the two even though never learning to swim he was more inclined to go his own way unlike Arthur who just wanted attention from him, be with him constantly not that Dutch minded, he knew John had a slightly better life than him.

As the wagon slowed at the top of the ditch, Dutch tapped Arthur’s arm.

“ hey come on love, need you to give me one last effort, need to get you home and warm.”

Still fighting against the death grip that wants to claim him, Arthur pulled himself awake at hearing Dutch’s soft words. Groaning in pain he tried to make Dutch proud by trying his best to get up.  
Shocked by the sudden determination Dutch was quick to still him.

“Hey babe, keep still, you'll hurt yourself let me and Hosea do most of the work yeah.”

Looking into Dutch’s eyes, Arthur nodded hissing in pain his ribs protested at the movement as Dutch slipped out from behind him, both men where soaking wet and cold, they needed to get back. Hosea came down to meet the pair.

“ how’s he doin Dutch.”

“ still alive, we need to get him home.”

Nodding in agreement, Hosea moved to Arthur’s right side.

“Ok Son we are going to pull you up, I know it’s going to hurt, use us as support yeah, you need us to stop tell us ok.”

Exchanging looks, in sync Dutch and Hosea moved together to keep Arthur as level as possible, every movement made him cry out in pain, when standing Dutch and Hosea gave him a minute to settle before attempting to move.  
In agonising pain Arthur dropped his head onto Dutch’s shoulder and then his shoulders started shuddering.

“ easy, hey Arthur your ok, we will move when you ready yeah, I’m still here try and breath for me.”

John was just sat in the wagon in shock as the three moved impossibly slow towards to wagon, it's not even that far but it seemed to take them hours, not used to seeing his brother this vulnerable John just gulped and felt lost as to what do other than keep watch and drive the wagon, to get his brother back home.

After what seemed like hours, what little energy Arthur had was gone almost leaning his entire weight on Dutch, he felt so useless and weak.

“ Arthur my love, I know your tired, wagons right there you can make it, I know you can, for me.”

Hosea moved onto the wagon as they tried to load him up the best they could to avoid causing more pain. 

“ Dutch, you sitting up front with John or riding with him?”

“ you know the answer to that Hosea.”

“ I was hoping you’d say that but just thought you might need a ride back to clear your head that’s all.”

Smiling Dutch jumped into the back of the wagon, pulled the blankets over both of them and kissed Arthur’s wet hair.

“ thanks Hosea but I’ll stay with him, he needs me and I need him too, let’s go home.”

Looking at John, Dutch gave him a reassuring smile.

“ it’s ok John, I’m proud of you son you’ve been amazing and I owe you everything, your brother will be ok, once we get him home and dry.”

Nodding, John drove the wagon towards camp.

It seemed like hours but maybe a storm can provide good and bad, keeping the folks inside the journey back was quiet but wet. Rolling back in they was met with concerned gang members, Dutch was unusually quiet, he was exhausted and he just wanted his boy to be ok, it was Hosea who stepped up and said to leave the pair alone. 

“ ok, let’s get him to your cot Dutch, it’s drier, John for this we can allow the horses into the camp itself take us to Dutch’s tent, it’ll be easier for us to move him.”

Both men nodded in agreement and John parked the wagon outside Dutch’s tent.

Once again Dutch tentatively rubbed Arthur’s arm.

“ hey, you with us, one last movement son, and it’s over ok, you’ll be in a nice warm cot, where we can patch you up and you can sleep.”

Groaning Arthur tensed, thinking he would be left alone on his own cot, he started to panic.

“ D.....Dutch don't leave ........ me alone.”

Seeing his boy starting to panic Dutch had to rectify it before he caused himself more harm.

“ easy easy, your not alone you’ll be in my tent on my cot with me ok, I’m going to bed with you sweetheart.”

Kissing his forehead, Arthur calmed, John and Hosea had moved to help get him off the wagon, Dutch hopped down after them and helped move his weak lover inside, setting him down carefully on the cot Hosea set to work on his wrist, cleaning it with whisky and stitching it before wrapping it up.

Luckily for him Arthur was to tired to register much pain. Dutch had a quiet word John told him to beat Miach within an inch of his life before stripping down to his under garments and carefully sliding next to his boy.   
Arthur looked dreadful but his ribs where strapped and wrist stitched all they both needed was sleep.

Hosea was just cleaning up, he smiled at the pair.

“ get some sleep Dutch, I’ll keep watch for a few hour, gotta keep waking Arthur up briefly to make sure he’s still responding.”

Snuggling with him, Dutch felt content enough to lower his head to Arthur’s shoulder, Arthur running on instinct responded by turning his head and giving a lazy kiss to his forehead. Smirking Dutch fell asleep in minutes leaving Hosea to look over them fondly, Arthur was really fighting to stay alive for Dutch and He couldn’t be prouder.


	13. Painfully Lazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hard cold night, the aftermath leaves Arthur in agony and Dutch exhausted unfortunately Micah has other plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming to the end of this fic, now taking requests for Dutch and Arthur Fics leave your suggestions in the comments.
> 
> Sorry not an amazingly long shorter

Hosea let Dutch sleep, but kept waking Arthur every few hour to check he was still responding, unfortunately for Dutch he was to anxious to sleep through the moments when his lover would stir or groan in pain, forcing himself awake to check on him, Hosea would find himself checking Dutch over for signs of illness from being out in the cold and wet.

“ Dutch the boys fine, ok, come on relax go to sleep otherwise you’ll end up sick and Arthur doesn’t need to be worrying about you.”

“ I .... just ..... god Hosea I fucked up, I nearly lost him due to my stupidity, I .... if he dies I can’t ever forgive myself.”

“ Dutch Van Der Linde, you listen to me and listen good, you made a mistake, you chose the wrong path....... however your family pulled you back and you’ve discovered that you was wrong and acted upon your mistake to make it better...... Arthur won’t be angry at you he loves you and so do we...... proves your human.”

Holding back tears Dutch sniffed, then hid his face in Arthur’s neck.

“ thanks Hosea your my rock you know that.”

“ I know now go to sleep,”

By morning Arthur woke, sore, battered and bruised but alive which was the best outcome considering the situation he was in, in an attempt to sit up he was met with searing pain in his chest, fuck that hurt, holding back a yelp his breathing hitched clamping an arm around his chest he started to shake, Hosea who had been awake all night was at his side in a flash.

“ easy son, your ok, ribs a bit sore.”

In gasps he forced a reply that would of earn’t him a twat round the head if he wasn’t beat up already.

“ no Hosea they ain’t sore ..... what the hell do you think!.”

“ hey watch your tone with me.”

Knowing how agitated he was, the snippy response was out of order, Hosea was just trying to help and he knew that.

“ sorry Hosea, didn’t mean it.”

Softening at his sons tone he knew Arthur must of felt weak and embarrassed at the whole situation.

“ it’s ok Arthur, I know they hurt, tell me honestly how bad.”

“ really bad, damn Micah, I shouldn’t of believed what he said...... it’s all my fault.”

“ now stop that Arthur it’s not your fault, Dutch loves you and I know you just want to make him proud nowt wrong with that but Micah just wants to split you up.”

Looking down at a slumbering Dutch Arthur gave a pained smile.  
He was about to speak when his eyes widened at the tent entrance, it was Micah gun poised at Hosea and a sinister smile.

“ now cowpoke let’s try this again shall we, you do have a habit of surviving don’t you.”

Hosea held his nerve but was fearing for Arthur’s life he couldn’t defend against Micah not with shattered ribs.

“ how you escape Micah?”

“ oh shut up old man,you didn’t teach John very good did you wasn’t hard to get away from him, he will sleep for a few hour, might kill him later for target practice.”

Dutch, woke up hearing the voices that surrounded him.

“ whaaa, what’s goin on.”

Looking up to Arthur who had his eyes fixed on the tent entrance, Dutch followed his eyes, oh fuck.

“ Micah, put the gun down, you don’t want to do this.”

“ oh Dutch, you know if you had just come with me to begin with you wouldn’t have to see them die buuuut you know how it is, anyway you like killing people don’t you these two won’t make much difference.”

Gulping Dutch was panicking, Micah was out for revenge and he wouldn’t be afraid to shoot Hosea or Arthur.

Redirecting the gun at Arthur, Micha sneered.

“ well you first cripple, give my love to the afterlife won’t you.”

Before Dutch or Hosea could even respond a loud gunshot sounded, then silence.


	14. Lucky or Unreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys just can’t catch a break can they

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really late update

The gunshot tore through the camp, Arthur didn’t know what he feared most the screams of Dutch and Hosea or the gun shot itself, his ears where ringing, time seemed to stop awaiting the inevitable pain and death, his breathing hitched waiting to take the last one..... but pain never came he dared himself to open his eyes, peeling his eyes open Arthur was gobsmacked yup he surely had died and gone to hell or heaven depends if he got lucky or was just imagining an unreal scene. In front of him was Micah face down on the tent floor with blood pooling from his head, Arthur looked to the tent entrance to see Lenny shaking holding a smoking shot gun.

“ Jesus kid, good shot, always knew you had potential.”

“Arthur.... you ok..... saw Miach whack John over the head and knock him out after that he grabbed his gun and headed here, so I followed him.”

Hosea who was the first to react, casually stepping over Micah’s body and walked up to Lenny, he carefully took the gun from his hand and set it down, then pulled him into a hug.

“ thank you.... you’ve saved all our lives, Dutch was right about you kid.”

Dutch was a sobbing mess he hadn’t even dared to look at the situation all he thought was that Arthur was dead, he daren’t even look up to his head blown to bits, he just couldn’t, it was his fault, he had done this. Arthur felt shaking beside him and snapped back to reality pretty quickly, definitely lucky, he looked at Dutch who had his eyes squeezed shut and was gripping Arthur’s bad ribs impossibly tight which made him wince in pain, but he didn’t mind for now, he had to bring Dutch back from his nightmare and make him realise that he was still breathing.

Arthur tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at Hosea who had lowered himself to Dutch’s other side. Hosea was just as shook up as Dutch but seemed to in this time zone, Dutch had just shut the world out.

Suddenly Dutch gave Arthur a hard squeeze and cried harder, making Arthur suck in a painful gasp, Hosea tried to pry Dutch’s over protective arms from his side.

“ Dutch... come on... let Arthur go your hurting him... he’s still here.... but keep squeezing him like that he won’t be....”

Opening his eyes to Hosea’s voice, his mind was working overtime to try and figure out the situation.

“ Lenny my dear boy could you get Micah’s body outta here, don’t care what you do with him, and go see if Johns ok, I’ll be along shortly to tend to him.”

“ sure Hosea... hey those two going to be ok?”

“ oh I suspect so, Dutch knows he’s made some mistakes but the point is he acted to try and make it better, now go kid, and thanks again.”

Grabbing Micah’s body, Lenny gave Arthur a nod of which he returned with a pained smile, and Lenny dragged Micah’s body out of view.

Turning his attention to Dutch who was still working out what the hell happened and still keeping a tight hold of Arthur as if he let go he would disintegrate.

“ Duuuutch can yo ...you .... please ... et... let me go... christ your grip is strong.”

Hearing is lovers pained voice Dutch instantly released his death grip, and sat up staring into Arthur’s eyes, Hosea placed a hand on his back.

“ Dutch.. you good, Lenny shot Micah, it wasn’t Micah’s gun that we heard it was Lenny’s, promise you we are all still alive.”

Looking this way and that, settling on looking at Hosea.

“ Hosea your alive, and Arthur your alive too.”

Both men gave a smile and a definite nod in unison, Dutch just broke into a fit of sobs and laughs.

“Arthur, I thought you died, it was my fault your like this and...”

Arthur had heard enough of this, if he hadn't forgiven Dutch he wouldn’t be sleeping next to him or even talking to him, he shook his head and silenced the worked up leader with a searing kiss.

Still talking Dutch’s voice turned to muffled moans, as he gave himself to the other, and his body relaxed. 

smiling into the kiss, Arthur was in more pain right now but seeing Dutch give himself fully to him seemed to shove the pain away. Parting from the elder Arthur smiled.

“ you done talkin Dutch, I was never angry at you, it was my fault for listening to Micah to begin with, I just thought you wanted me to earn my keep.”

Pulling back Dutch looked horrified that the very suggestion of it, he gently cupped Arthur’s cheek and brought his forehead to meet his.

“ oh my boy never, you’ve been with me since you was young, you’ve always been my boy and now your so much more.”

Smiling Hosea gave Dutch a pat on the back and moved to Arthur’s side.

“ as much as I adore you two having a moment, I need to look at these ribs, Arthur that ok?”

Pulling away, Arthur nodded.

“ sure Hosea, thanks but shouldn’t you go see if Marston is ok, heard the stupid boy got a whack on the head, god bet he’s lost what little brain he had.”

Giving Arthur a gentle playful swat on the arm he chuckled and Dutch just shook his head through a smile.

“ you boys, seriously you ever gunna stop bickering, my sons, what am I gunna do with you both.”

Turning to Dutch as Hosea was prodding his ribs, Arthur winced and tensed as he touched the broken bones.

“ easy Hosea that urts.”

“ sorry son, you’ve def broke a few but looks like we got lucky this time.”

Tucking his head into Dutch’s shoulder, Dutch ran a hand up his back, as Arthur waited for the burning pain to subside.

“ right I’m gunna leave you boys for a while, will you be ok while I go check on dear John.”

Dutch smiled and nodded.

“ yeah we’ll be fine Hosea, thanks, go make sure our youngest sons ok.”

Then Arthur piped up.

“ well if he ain’t could always use him as a throw rug.”

Dutch gave him a warning squeeze.

“ Arthur..... don’t start.”

Hosea just laughed and walked out to find John.  
Arthur just let off a pained laugh of his own.

“ I’m sure he’s fiiiine, everything always turns out alright for him.”

“ that’s not the point son, what am I gunna do with you eh.”

Giving his a loving kiss Arthur gave Dutch a twisted smirk.

“ could always fuck me, that might shut me up.”

Grinning back Dutch just shook his head.

“ patience love, your in no shape to take me, I want you to pass out from pleasure not from pain, I’d rather have you breathing afterwards.”

A faint rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance and Arthur tensed and trembled, Dutch sensing the change in the younger he held his close to his chest.

“ shhhhh it’s ok, I’m here now, listen to my heart and not the thunder.....”


	15. Walls can Rebuild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wall that falls can be rebuilt and even though Arthur is still suffering from broken ribs they will heal unfortunately a phobia isn’t beaten

Micah’s absence wasn’t an issue nobody missed him, it was still storm season but they hadn’t had a storm in a few weeks, Arthur was still very tender and John was still suffering from dizziness, Hosea and Dutch kept there eye on the pair. 

The boys decided one day that they needed to get out for a while, so they decided to approach the most calming of the two.... Hosea to persuade him to let them go.

“ hey errrr Hosea.”

Hearing Arthur’s voice Hosea turned around brows furrowed, he seemed to move so careful these days as to not jostle anything, Hosea didn’t fail to notice the brief arm around his ribs. 

“ what’s wrong Arthur, ribs hurting you?”

Hosea made to approach to check him over but Arthur just held his hand up.

“ it’s ok Hosea, that’s not why I’m here..... errrrr.”

Rolling his eyes Hosea knew that when Arthur rambled on like this he usually wanted something.”

“ what you want son.”

Glancing up, Arthur smiles.

“ you know me to well old man, can me and Marston just go out for a while, ya know down to the river, fishing or summit, just feeling a bit cooped up tis all.”

Sighing Hosea knew it wasn’t the best idea..... buuuut it wouldn’t do them any harm to go out for a while as long as they stayed together.

“ I don’t know Arthur your still healing and John still has dizziness.”

“ oh please Hosea, you know I don’t like staying here all the time.”

Giving in Hosea pinches the bridge of his nose.

“ ok here’s the deal Arthur, first you go tell Dutch I don’t want him panicking that you’ve both gone missing and you both stay together... agreed.”

Nodding Arthur knew it was a compromise he would have to agree too.

“ sure, why not I’ll look after the kid.”

“ hey!, I’m stood right here ya know.”

Snickering, Arthur got a whack on the head from John who was standing behind him.

“ boys boys, enough, now go ask Dutch.”

Arthur smiled he secretly couldn’t wait to approach Dutch and made his way over slowly.

Reaching the tent Dutch was stood leaning against the post, he smiled when he saw the two lads walking together towards him.

“ boys what do I owe the pleasure?”

John gave Arthur a shove forward to take the lead but the push was a little hard and Arthur winced and grabbed his side giving John a glare.

“ John Son, be a little more careful.... Arthur you ok?”

Dutch places a hand over Arthur’s that was on his side.

John swayed slightly from a sudden dizzy spell but stayed upright. Dutch frowned at his two boys, Arthur sucked a painful breath in and stood up straight.

“ Duuuuutch..... can me and Marston go out?”

The sentence was said so quick Dutch blinked in confusion.

“ slow down Arthur and try again, didn’t get a word of that.”

Lowering his head Arthur took a painful breath and spoke slower.

“ can me and Marston go out for a bit, Hosea said it was ok as along as we stayed together and told you.”

Smiling Dutch pulled Arthur into a warm hug being mindful of his side.

“ oh my boy, you know that’s not a great idea but I’m not going to say no, thanks for coming to tell me though stay together and don’t go far any trouble you come home, don’t try and be a hero.”

Smiling Arthur kissed Dutch neck and mumbled into him.

“ thanks Dutch.”

Letting off a shuddering breath Dutch felt his cheeks heat up.

“ come on Arthur before you stick to him.”

Letting go Arthur turned to John and rolled his eyes.

“ come on scar face let’s go, don’t fall in the river I’m not jumping in to save you.”

“ yea well I’m not pulling your ass out a ditch if u fall in one.”

“ why would I purposely fall in one, least I didn’t get knocked out.”

Dutch just shook his head as the bickering brothers walked off towards there horse, Hosea came up beside his friend.

“ those too are always bickering, but wouldn’t be the same without them.”

Smiling Dutch knew Hosea was right, just as he was going to sit down a loud sudden crack of thunder followed by lightning forked across the sky.... shit.

Arthur froze before getting on his horse and John looked at him in concern.

“ Errrr Arthur you ok?”

Breathing hitched and the pain in his ribs spiked with the effort.

“ ok ok Arthur sit down before you fall down ill get Dutch.”

But before John could go get him Dutch and Hosea were already running towards them, Dutch crashed to the ground and moved himself behind the panic stuck man.

John just stared blankly as Hosea places a hand on his shoulder.

“ it’s ok John, Arthur isn’t great with storms.”

Dutch was mumbling words into Arthur’s ear and had a hand around his chest.

“ it’s ok Arthur, I’m here, breath a storm won’t hurt you ok, they are just noisy and like showing off.”

Feeling Dutch behind him, the panic subsided and he felt himself smirk.

“ well that sounds like you then.”

Giving a mock shock look, Dutch pretended to be insulted.

“ well that’s just nice isn’t it, I don’t show off and I’m not noisy.”

John and Hosea looked at each other before speaking at the same time.

“ well you are a bit.”

Suddenly everyone was laughing.  
Dutch squeezed his lover and kissed and nipped his ear.

“ you ok now Arthur?”

Nodding Arthur relaxed listening to the storm, in Dutch’s arms he knew he was safe.

“ well boys how about we all go fishing together be good and we can watch the storm as a family.”

“ you know Hosea now that’s a plan.”

Getting to his feet Arthur wobbled slightly, Dutch stood up behind him and offered support, John had already mounted up and Hosea swiftly followed.

“ you riding with me Arthur?”

Dutch offered his hand as he mounted, Arthur smiled and took the hand and Dutch helped him mount, wincing at the pull on his ribs and tight chest from the attack.

“ ok boys let’s go, and Arthur a wall can be rebuilt and nows a good time to start building yours.”

Smiling Arthur had his Dutch, His Hosea and his brother and nothing not even a storm was going to ruin it.


	16. Family support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fishing trip turns sour, as lightning strikes a nearby tree sending Arthur into a panic sparked by a memory from his childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I had a new idea on how to progress with this story so enjoy the return of this fic

The journey to the riverside was peaceful accept for the ever thickening clouds, Arthur was starting to have second thoughts about this whole idea, what seemed to be a good idea at the time was turning into a nightmare but least he had Dutch with him as well as John and Hosea, leaning into Dutchs back Arthur winced as the pull on his ribs protested at the movement, Dutch reached back with his free hand and squeezed his lovers thigh.

“You ok Arthur?”

“M’fine, just hurts a bit that’s all, Ridings not the best for tender ribs.”

Arthur tries so shake off the uneasy feeling and snuggles into Dutchs back, Dutch looks across at Hosea who looks a bit concerned, John pinches the bridge of his nose as a headache threatens to make an appearance.

“Maybe we should take the boys home Dutch?”

Dutch looks at the water just feet from them and then cranes his head to see what state his lovers in, Arthur is shaking slightly from pain or fear he can’t be sure but that makes his mind up after casting a glance to John who also seems to struggling.

“Ok, let’s go home, you boys aren’t ready for a trip out just yet but soon you will be.”

For once neither man argued which only made Hosea’s concern grow.

“Dutch you get Arthur home I’ll stay with John.”

Nodding Dutch made to turn The Count around when a flash of lightning suddenly strikes a tree making it spark and snap falling to across the path with a loud bang.

The Count reared up in fear, Arthur’s ribs couldn’t take the sudden jolt and he slid off the back and he looked at the tree a flashback hit him like a bullet to the heart.

The tree that fell on him as a boy, burning him, crushing him, the pain the fear of being alone and left for dead, Arthur went in a full blown state of panic, his breathing was going out of control as his eyes mirrors the flames of the tree the image of a boy within them crying in pain, in the distant he thought he heard Dutchs voice... then Hosea’s followed by Johns.

Arthur was on the verge of passing out from panic and pain, then suddenly hands where on him and a voice that sounded like Hosea, wait where was Dutch... has the tree crushed him.

“Arthur... Arthur... calm down son... come on breath.... it’s ok.”

“H’sea... dat... you.”

Hosea was behind him an arm wrapped around him trying to support his already battered chest as still as he could.

“Shh Arthur breath with me kid.... it’s ok... breath... slowly.”

After a few moments the panic was reduced to painful sobs the throb of his ribs hitting like punches.

“Hosea... where’s Dutch?”

As if he was heard another hand cupped his cheek accompanied by a voice he knew all too well.

“Hey easy Arthur I’m right here.... I had to make sure John was ok he’s not feeling too good and Hosea was the closest to you.”

Arthur cried knowing Dutch was there as well and both elders looked at each other with sad expressions.

“Arthur love can you look at me and not that tree.... I know that it brings back horrible memories for you but try to focus on me and not that.”

Hosea raises an eye at Dutch but before he could question John groans from somewhere behind the two embraced pair.

“Dutch you wanna take John home.... I want to have a little talk with Arthur.”

Dutch hesitates but getting the idea on what Hosea was talking about he nods.

“Arthur listen love I’m gunna get John home so he can rest and I’ll come back for you ok.... Hosea is gunna stay with you.”

Arthur sobs at the idea that Dutch is leaving him but is hushed by Hosea.

“Arthur.... listen to me John needs to be taken home he’s not feeling well and rather than jostle you more in switching around it’s easier if Dutch goes.... trust me.”

Hearing the word trust Arthur nods but extends a shaky hand to Dutch who takes a hold of it and squeezes it.

“I’ll be back son... let me get John safe... listen to Hosea you’ll be ok.”

Letting go of his hand Arthur hisses in pain and moves his hand to his ribs and Dutch winces with him but nods to Hosea.

Walking to where he had set John down against a rock Dutch crouches down and places a hand in his shoulder.

“John son... you ok... come on up you get let’s get you home.”

John blinks and try’s to focus on Dutch who just smiles and offers him a hand to help him stand.

Shakily John grabs his hand and Dutch hauls him to his feet but John ends up teetering forward as the ground beneath him moves and Dutch held him steady lowering Johns head to his shoulder.

“Easy John breath... we will move when your ready ok.”

John nods into Dutchs shoulder and Dutch whistles for The Count who had bolted in the mayhem to the other side of the woods but loyal as he was came trotting through the trees and to his masters side.

“Ready son... take it easy let’s get you up there... that’s it.. you ok ?”

Nodding Dutch climbs up in front and John croaks something out that Dutch lowers and cranes his neck slightly to hear.

“Where’s Arthur.... he -he ok?”

Smiling Dutch pushes The Count into a trot away from the flames of the tree to another route back to camp.

“He’s... well he’s shook up and in a bit of pain but he’ll be ok Hosea’s with him while I get you home.”

“Shouldn’t you be with Arthur after all it’s you who loves him?”

“Oh John... you’ve always been a nosy boy.... it’s all been sorted son... Hosea wants a little alone time with him and I’m... well I’m looking after my other boy... I’ll go back for Arthur after I know your safe.”

Riding up the path towards camp John and Dutch realise they’ve never shown so much affection towards each other since John was a little kid.


End file.
